MOVED.

ATTENTION LJ PEOPLE!

Wed, 18 Feb 2004 13:23:23 GMT

i moved & this is my new journal:

www.livejournal.com/~distress_

add that shit because you love me :) & because i love my LJ friends. & because you all forgot about me & i been over there for a LONG time & none of you added me :(

mkay.. <33

`!@ public announcement.

Tue, 23 Sep 2003 19:11:03 GMT

no offense to anyone, but my entries are gettin a lot more personal and i would much rather know who is reading them. not that i care what other people think about what i write, but i'm a private type person, ya know? if you would like to be added, leave a comment on this entry asking to be asked. i have to already be added to your list in order for you to be added to mine. if you have any questions or concerns, feel free to email me at c0nnerz@yahoo.com or IM me on AIM at dr0p tha beaT.

`!@ well damn...

Tue, 23 Sep 2003 17:04:07 GMT

ok, so we were supposed to all go down to rehobeth to surprise the boys [ we meaning me, laura, and loren ] but i slipped up and told dan about it. i mean, what if one of them had plans that day? then we woulda wasted our gas, time, and money. laura was not at all happy with that. she pretty much flipped out. it's whatever. i would rather them know so we could make every effort to spend time together for as long as we could. laura and loren do not see it that way i guess.

it feels sooo weird to be in a relationship. i was so used to being able to say "no, i'm single", and now it's like.. i don't know. i feel different. like, people can see this glow in me now. i kinda like it-- but shhh, don't tell dan that LOL. he swears that he will fully restore my faith and trust in guys. so anytime i start to open up more, he takes full credit LOL.

he really is great. i'm really happy that i made the right choice.

i didn't go to school today, so i'm gonna go do some laundry and clean up the house. might even wash my car-- woo hoo LOL. hope you all have a lovely day :] <33

`!@ heeyyy...

Sun, 21 Sep 2003 03:08:23 GMT

*sings* connie gots a man... connie gots a man...

dr0p tha beaT (10:47:37 PM): i got a question...
dr0p tha beaT (10:47:54 PM): dan...
Looserkidbunny69 (10:48:01 PM): yessums
dr0p tha beaT (10:48:03 PM): would you like to be my boo?
Looserkidbunny69 (10:48:28 PM): that would make me tha happiest man in the world id love to be your boo ;-)

and in the IM with laura right after...
Ljo11685 (10:48:26 PM): ur boo
Ljo11685 (10:48:27 PM): lmao
Ljo11685 (10:48:28 PM): lmao
Ljo11685 (10:48:29 PM): lmao
dr0p tha beaT (10:48:59 PM): ROFL
dr0p tha beaT (10:49:04 PM): had to be ghetto.

`!@ last night...

Sat, 20 Sep 2003 15:46:42 GMT

it was one of the best nights of my life... *cheeses*

i won't say any more... i don't kiss and tell... much LOL.

Fri, 19 Sep 2003 18:12:54 GMT

the hurricane wasn't everything the news said it would be. the flood didn't even come close to flooding out my house. everything looked the same. jen's mom's trimming was all fucked up though. HAA. anyways, dan, brett, and dave are coming up today to chill with us. there won't be much to do since everything is pretty much closed.

i had written a whole entry the other day and it got erased cuz LJ was down. it's been down off and on for a while-- dammit.

anyways, here is a pic of dan...
http://www.marua.com/infatuati0n/danpic.jpg
it's really big, but oh well. he's still cute. *cheeses*

yeah, uhm, the other day, on my way to work, i passed by jen's mom's house where i saw joey and jen making out. i guess they're back together. what was i thinking- a leopard can't change it's spots afterall. *sigh* laura wrote me a long email that opened up my eyes a litte. i mean, i can love joey forever, but it doesn't change the fact that he doesn't deserve me. he's let me go sooo many times, and doesn't even realize how good i am for him. so you know what- his loss, not mine. i can't dwell on what used to be. i need to move on.

well, i need to start gettin ready... i'll give details later.. i'm out like a fat kid in dodge-ball <333

`!@ eye canDii

Wed, 17 Sep 2003 19:13:01 GMT

heeyy.. took some pictures today people...
http://www.geocities.com/borrowed_dreamx/pictures02.html
i don't wanna sound stuck up or anything, but considering i feel like crap today, i think i look pretty nice.

ahh dan asked me out last nite! i did not know what to say-- i was speechless for at least 15 minutes! everyone was pressuring me to say "yes" but i couldn't-- i would rather us get to know eachother before deciding to take it to the next level, ya know? he also asked me to his homecoming, and told me that we didn't have to go out right now; he'd wait forever... awww. i could have cried. he is sooo sweet. but you know what stopped me from sayin yes? joey. ugh, what else is new? LOL

we don't have school thursday or friday- state of emergency. i guess the hurricane is closer than i thought. i'll have to evacuate my house cuz delaware city is riiight by the water, so we'll surely flood.

ugh! dfkgh;osdifyg0ioh mom is being a BITCH- gotta go... ttyl <3

`!@ survey!

Mon, 15 Sep 2003 22:46:56 GMT

click the linky thingy to read or steal LOL...

:*: piercings = ears, ear cartilage, nose
:*: tattoos = not yet
:*: height = 5'7''
:*: shoe size = 6
:*: hair color = blonde
:*: length = little past shoulders
:*: siblings = 2 sisters- laura, naomi; 2 brothers- mickey, chris

LAST...

:*: movie you rented = bringing down the house
:*: movie you bought = the hot chick
:*: song you listened to = brian mcknight- the only one for me
:*: song that was stuck in your head = tamia- offically missing you
:*: record you bought = state property- chain gangs vol. 2
:*: record you listened to = ^same as above^
:*: person you called = laura
:*: person that called you = laura
:*: tv show you watched = something on disney last nite *shurgs*
:*: person you were thinking of = joey :\
:*: you wish you could live somewhere else = anywhere but here :[
:*: you think about suicide = i used to...
:*: you believe in online dating = ehh not really
:*: others find you attractive = i guess so...
:*: you want more piercings = yeah a couple
:*: you drink = when i feel the need to
:*: you do drugs = haven't since february
:*: you smoke = ^same as above^
:*: you like cleaning = LOL uhh, i think not
:*: you like roller coasters = yeah fuckin right
:*: you write in cursive or print = print
:*: you carry a donor card = no- i'm not a donor

FOR OR AGAINST...

:*: long distance relationships = not sure.. i guess you're determined to make it work then yeah
:*: using someone = against
:*: killing people = against, for the most part
:*: teenage smoking = it's your lungs
:*: driving drunk = against
:*: gay/lesbian relationship = i don't think your preference in sex should determine whether a relationship is good or bad
:*: soap operas = i don't watch em

FAVORITE THING AT THE MOMENT...

:*: food = lunchables :]
:*: song = pharrell- frontin // young gunnerz- can't stop, won't stop
:*: thing to do = sing :]
:*: thing to talk about = guys, sex
:*: sports = basketball
:*: drinks = smirnoff triple black
:*: clothes = don't really have any
:*: movies = grease
:*: band/singer = mariah carey, jay-z, ja rule, aaliyah, etc...
:*: holiday = christmas
:*: new nerdy saying = holler for a dollar :]
:*: disney movie = the lion king, monsters inc.
:*: scent = love spell from victoria's secret
:*: word = gangsta
:*: nickname = conE, sexual chocolate... LOL don't ask
:*: guy name = ---
:*: girl name = autumn
:*: eye color = blue
:*: hair color = blonde
:*: flower = rose
:*: piercing = tongue
:*: actor = don't got one

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...

:*: pretty = i'm alright
:*: funny = i can make people laugh so yeah
:*: hot = ermm no
:*: friendly = for the most part
:*: amusing = yeah
:*: ugly = nah

`!@ where's my pot pie bitch?!

Mon, 15 Sep 2003 22:14:50 GMT

new icon. i thought it fit my mood. BTW, that's a pic i took today in it as well.

i'm fallin again. someone slap me.
joey keeps running back to me. and it's like i can't say no, cuz i still love him, and i still wanna be with him, even if i know he's no good for me. he told my sister that he wants me to come over his house cuz supposedly, him and jen "broke up". she ran him over with her mom's car.. ROFL. but like, he's goin to court to take the kid and shit. at least, that's what i was told. even if that was the case, and they are really over this time, how can i trust him after he lied to me all those other times? love can only do so much. i need him to wanna be with me, and only me.

the worst part is, dan, the guy from rehobeth, is super sweet. i know he could treat me the way i deserve. and yet, i wanna be with the asshole. why? cuz i'm stupid. i keep going in circles with joey. and we never get anywhere. but i love him- and that's why i keep doing it. cuz i figure, hey, if i stick around, he'll see how much better i am for him and we can really be together. but it never stays that way. i always end up sitting at home, crying about it cuz i can't stand hearing "i told you so" from all of my friends. ugh... i'm confused.

over and over i try, and over and over you lie, and over and over i cry... [ashanti/rain.on.me]

`!@ slight update...

Sat, 13 Sep 2003 15:31:05 GMT

i got a new AIM screen name: dr0p tha beaT

mike, the guy that was in my icon, that i was tryna to get with, has officially dissed me. i put his screen name on my new BL, and oddly enough, it said he had been online for 5 hours. funny thing is, he had been on my old screen name a minute before, and not on at all. the conclusion? he blocked me. what an asshole. i hate guys.

today, we're supposed to go down to the beach. lauren isn't allowed to use her beach house so they wanna find a motel or sumthin. i don't have a good feeling about that. i already promised myself i wasn't doing anything with dan, cuz i've decided to change.

oh, and last nite, me, loren, lauren, and nicole all went to coconuts to tell laura we couldn't use the beach house. and then we called up dan and dave to let them know, and the conversation got a little long. well, nicole up and left us! and she was lauren and loren's ride- so like we looked all over for her, and called her call phone like a million times: got no answer. like an hour later, she called back and said she wouldn't be back for a while. so we went back to lauren's and watch Hellraiser. then lauren called nicole and got the official story- she was sick of the beach talk and hearing about the beach guys. completely understandable, but she should have told us instead of just leaving. oh, and she didn't like hearing about the lingerie. i swear the lingerie is a teaser- nothing more. the most i plan on doing is kiss him- that's it. but forreal, she should have talked to us instead of leave and not tell us where she was going. that was fucked up.

anyways, i gotta be at work at 1 today. i'm still debatin on whether i wanna go to the beach tonite. going to the beach house is fine- but a motel? it sounds sleezy. just for the simple fact that it's all couples going and all the girls bought lingerie. bleh, i don't know, i need to talk to laura about it.

well.. that's it for me today. i might take pics this weekend and post em for you guys so you can see the guys. catch ya on the flipside <33

`!@ updating...

Fri, 12 Sep 2003 20:22:58 GMT

ok, yesterday i told you that me, loren and laura went to the mall to look for lingerie. it was basically for the guys: dave, dan, and brett. so we check out victoria's secret, but they didn't have anything we liked. then we check out a few other places, and ended up at gadzooks where we all bought a bra and thong set, but we each got a different design. then we went to strawbridges to look for some PJ pants and ran into the hugest granny panties i have ever seen! ROFL no lie! and laura wanted to buy them so we could see the looks on their faces when we walk out with panties that sag down to our knees. oh god-- you had to be there LOL.

buutt, it turns out, lauren doesn't even wanna go, so i guess we're not goin. i'm the only one who bothered to ask lauren, the beach house, if we were goin. so everyone else is in for a shocker tonite LOL.

tomorrow i work 1-8 and i'm probably goin to my sister's 11th b-day party. i got her the amanda perez CD. i'm nopt really into her, but my sister is, so whatever.

phew. it feels good to know i can relax this weekend and not rush around. i mean, i wouldn't mind goin to the beach, but i can live with the guys for a week. no big deal.

i was thinking about making another website. not sure on who yet. i'm open to suggestions though. ok, i'm out <33

`!@ suject -- TIRED.

Fri, 12 Sep 2003 02:53:09 GMT

ugh man. i am beat. i went lingerie shopping today with loren and laura for the beach this weekend. don't ask LOL. i don't feel like explaining why. but yeah, so i called work and came in at 6. left at 9:30 and now i'm home. and very tired. thank god tomorrow is friday.

tomorrow will be a better update. goodnite <3

`!@ small survey before bed.

Wed, 10 Sep 2003 02:56:47 GMT

-- 21 questions --
01. full name; constance faye mcgirr
02. preferred name; connie
03. d.o.b; 03.23.86
04. which makes you...; seventeen
05. and your sign is...; aries
06. fave color; pink and baby blue
07. fave cartoon; scooby-doo
08. residence; delaware city
09. best day of your life; meeting my best friend, laura
10. worst day of your life; dad died
11. how old were you when...
* you first had sex? sixteen
* lost your first tooth? uhmm..
* had your first bf? eleven
* got your first job? fourteen
12. fave food; chicken, spaghetti & anything fast food
13. fave school suject; lunch
14. best quality; easy to get along with
15. bad habit; biting my nails
16. music taste; hip hop, r&b... a little of everything
17. how do you feel about...
* war? hate it
* racism? hate it
* gay/lesbians? whatever floats your boat
18. fave phrase; holler, it's all good in the hood & riiight
19. clothing style; comfortable & classy
20. ja rule or 50cent? it's murder. fuck gay-unit :]

`!@ real update

Wed, 10 Sep 2003 01:30:11 GMT

ok, this is my actual update LOL.

all joking matters aside, i went to the funeral today. i haven't cried that hard, or that much, in a long time. i didn't really talk to anyone today except antonio, who called at like 8:15, and it was like a 3 minute conversation. i'm just not that talkative when i'm in an emotional mood. i can be very masculine when it comes to feelings. i hold in shit cuz i don't like people to see me cry, or be upset. i'd rather people see me happy.

scott finished putting my brakes on today, so now i have a car for work and school again. i hate not being able to drive.

my cell phone is somehow, 100 dollars. eek. and ihave to get together 300 dollars within the next two weeks for car insurance.

i'm a little tired, so i'm going to bed early. nite kiddies. i will try and comment friday cuz tomorrow and thursday, i work right after school until close. goodnite <33

`!@ question...

Wed, 10 Sep 2003 00:55:00 GMT

how do you know if you're good in bed? i mean, if you're a girl? LOL ok, like, i have no idea on how to ride a dick. and like, i did with dan, but uhmm.. i don't kn ow if i did it right LOL. oh god. i sound so pathetic... i need an expert~! *blushes in embarrassment*

`!@ what girls will do for some smirnoff :]

Tue, 09 Sep 2003 02:36:08 GMT

the beach was... entertaining. that's about the only word i can use to describe it. want some detail? i warn you.. it's a little extreme- for me anyways.

the ladies i went with: laura + lauren + loren + nicole
we got 4 or 5 six packs of alcohol. 2 packs of smirnoff triple black, a pack of smirnoff ice, a pack of mike's hard lemonade, and a pack of mike's hard cranberry. we met the guys at the mocdonald's once we reached rehobeth. the guys: dave [laura's man] + dan + roberto + brett. then we went back to lauren's beach house. now, initially, i was feelin roberto, lauren was feelin dan, and loren was feelin brett. poor nicole didn't really have anyone.

the alcohol went kinda fast. the guys were chuggin right off the bat, but us girls drank it kinda slow. i think some of us girls were a little more fucked up than the dudes. within the first 30 minutes, i had a strip contest with dan [i won LOL], and all the couples were making out at the same time, only lauren had hooked up with roberto, and i had dan kinda hypnotized [not in a conceited way but i did]. i didn't make out with dan though. i just wanted to get drunk LOL. nicole got all upset and called her brother to come get her. i guess she felt out of place, but we begged her to stay. finally, she called her brother back up and told him she was staying.

around 3:30am, laura + dave took over the porch room, loren + brett took over the a/c room, roberto + lauren stole one couch, and me + dan took the last room. i didn't plan on doing anything at all, but one thing led to another and we had sex. and other things that i care not to mention.. LOL.

the guys left at about 6am for work and all the girls had woken up and we exchanged stories. mine was by far, the most detailed. i felt like the biggest whore cuz that made it guy #6 and i mean, i just lost my virginity last november. but my girls assured me that a whore wouldn't have feelings, and would fuck anyone. it helped a bit.

i wanted to cry and told myself that i hated dan cuz he prolly would never talk to me again. but he actually wanted more than just sex. and now i'm the one who's kinda shady. i just feel weird cuz like, we fucked on the first day of meeting eachother, and it's like we have to go back and start over cuz we didn't bother to talk or be friends or anything like that.

i might go into detail about my *adventure* in another post, friends only style. i don't know yet, you'll have to wait and see.

it was a pretty fun weekend overall, but my brakes are shot and i'm gettin new ones put on tomorrow, which means i'm car-less for now. oh well. and scott's truck broke down on the way home tonite, so i had to call up laura and ask her for some gas- she's a lifesaver :]

i'm tired, i have homework, and i gotta be up for school tomorrow. i'm leaving early for Dez's funeral though :[

goodnite sweeties <33

`!@ oh my.

Sat, 06 Sep 2003 02:26:38 GMT

what a way to end the week.

my stepdad's best friend Dez, passed away. he was found inside his bedroom. apparently, he had been there for at least five days and no one knew it. RIP.

on a brighter note, me, laura, lauren, loren, and nicole are all going to the beach tomorrow nite. paaarrtty! :] LOL can you say smirnoff?

the guys from my work, antonio, asked me for my digits today cuz i gave him a ride home. he's really hot, but i just don't wanna date him, end up breaking up, and have it be wierd at work, ya know?

uhmm.. i don't really have too much to say. i got paid today, but i blew most of it and now i only have $25 left. well, i didn't blow it, i spent it on well-worthy shit. i got CDs; jayz- reasonable doubt, robyn- robyn, neptunes- ...clones, boyz II men- II; a purse with a california motif, black wallet with a monkey on it, new black work pants, and a camera for the beach trip.

i'm soo tired, i'm gonna go to bed cuz i gotta work tomorrow before i leave. nite <33

`!@ can't knock the hustle...

Thu, 04 Sep 2003 01:03:46 GMT

icon change. i finally got my webcam to work again. i just took those pictures about an hour ago. my mike icon is still in my pics section, but i felt weird having him as my icon. i guess it would be different if i didn't know him. anywho, yeah. new icon bitches- holler back <33

(edit)
i'm on AIM if anyone wants to chat: threehoetwox

Wed, 03 Sep 2003 21:58:39 GMT

i did sumfin naughty. i'm a bad girl... *hehe*.

ANYWAYS, because i refuse to get into detail about that... on to something else. i went to see mike today. i was supposed to drive down there at like 11, but i didn't get up until about 12:50. and i left the house at 1:30 but i got lost (LOL) and didn't reach his house until about 3:00. oh, and for the slow ones, mike is the guy in my icon. i left there at about 4:45.

friday i go to planned parenthood. laura made me call last week to set up an appointment. i guess she secretly thinks i'm a whore and i need to be checked out. although, she swears it's cuz she cares. i'm sure it's both LOL.

i'm bored outta my mind. i filled up my tank this morning with my last 8 dollars until payday (friday) and i only used a quarter tank to and from dover. and yet, i don't feel like going anywhere. it feels so weird cuz i always said once i got my license i would never be home. but like, once you start driving a lot, you have to contemplate how much gas you're gonna use all week. and i mean, i live in delaware city, so going back and forth from school to work to home takes up a lot of gas. hmph. AND i'm broke, so i can't really do much. oh well.

i think this about concludes my update for today... see ya kiddies <33

`!@ my day

Wed, 03 Sep 2003 03:57:16 GMT

first day of school- piece of cake. it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be, but it seemed so long cuz i'm not used to being up that early. i did like the fact that i could fnially drive and not have the ride the bus anymore :]

i had to go to work straight after school to do paperwork cuz the old boss, anne, never filled any out, so technically, i was working illegally for the past 2 weeks- eek! some dude asked for my digits... he was kinda hot. so, i let him have em. i pimped him though- don't get it twisted LOL. he wasn't runnin a damn thing!

tomorrow i go to see mike aka the guy in my icon. i "stood" him up twice. but i sooo didn't mean it. do you think i would really stand up a guy so yummy? i don't think so! LOL

i also drive britt and katie to school in the morning. i don't mind. those are my peoples :]

ok, i'm out.. <33

`!@ yay

Mon, 01 Sep 2003 17:28:29 GMT

check out my icon bitches! it's straight PIMP. he is soo hot. that's my baby daddy right there. talk about orgasmic...

`!@ i'm in a porno! watch out :]

Mon, 01 Sep 2003 05:06:48 GMT

<td bgcolor="#000000">Name</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Co-Star</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">Nick Gigler </td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Porn Star Name</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">Tara Heads </td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Your Role</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">Nurse </td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Title of Movie</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">Dude, Where's My Pants? </td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">People Who Watched</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">139,273</td></tr>

Which porn will you star in? by Bert

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

`!@ @$%@%#@!!!

Mon, 01 Sep 2003 04:42:49 GMT

this is how my last and final conversation with joey went last sunday. i was tryin to be nice and patch things up from our last fight, so i stopped by before karaoke. our convo went sumthin like this:

me- heyy
joey- hey, jen will be here soon. she's making dinner.
me- then i guess i better leave...
joey- sorry-
me- i thought maybe you wanted to come tonite
joey- well we have the baby now...
me- yeah cuz now you can't talk to no one anymore...

and then i left in my car. fuck him. that's what i get for thinking he changed and not believing what his friends told me.

if you are reading this, or one of your friends are... FUCK YOU.

nothing really matters anymore. i am done with tryin to find a decent guy, cuz i've come to the conclusion that there isn't any.

besides all that, i'm ok. i finished up my last day at kitchen & company saturday and now i just work at coconuts. i start school tuesday. my wardrobe is like woah. ok, this is what i have so far. i'm going to buy new clothes on a regular basis to keep up my "baller status" LOL.
-j.lo type outfit; one piece jean suit
-4 aeropostal shirts; baby blue, dark blue, grey, white
-jeans
-khaki courdaroy(sp) pants
-white tees
-black timbs
-red converse weapons with yellow accents

hoollllleeerrr <333

`!@ boys lie.

Tue, 26 Aug 2003 02:06:02 GMT

now i know why laura wanted me to stay away from him. why everyone did. because he has done nothing but lie to me from day one. and i was stupid enough to believe him.

joey came and knocked on my window like 2 or 3 nights ago. he told his baby girl was born the night before [mary catherine] and how she was beautiful, and how jen will have to get used to me and him being together. i wasn't really listening cuz it sounded like his alcohol talking.

i walked over to his house [mind you it is about 3:30 in the morning, and i had to be to work by 9:30] and we chilled in his house. he sat next to me, and like put his hand on my thigh and started sweet talking me. i'm thinking whatever dude, it's too early for this shit. he started talking about gettin naked in the back room and i actually said, out loud, "don't hold your breathe, you might be a while" and he got all types of mad. and we got into a big argument on why we broke up and shit-- and basically he said it was all my fault. i was like "whatever, you were the one who left me for jen" which started an even BIGGER argument. he got to the point where he stopped talkin to me altogether, turned out the light, and passed out on his chair. i left about 30 minutes after he turned off the light so he wouldn't know i left. i haven't seen him since.

silly me. i thought he cared. i thought he wanted to be with me. but all i was to him was some sort of side project. whatever. i'm done with that bullshit. i give up.

god can you explain why love don't love me-- it's the only thing that seems to hold me; ja rule

`!@ long day. long week. long summer.

Fri, 22 Aug 2003 03:30:44 GMT

i go back to school in 2 weeks. if that. i can't believe how fast this ummer has gone by. it seems like school just let out and shit. but it was well spent. i had both good and bad moments.

supposedly, jen [joey's babymama] is in the hospital as i type this. i hope she's havin the kid. she wants to fight me after her kid is born. all i gotta say is bring it. i'm tired of motherfuckers talkin shit. i play it all nonchalent cuz i don't wanna bring a lot of stress to the situation, but, i've been wantin to fight her for a while. and i've never fought anyone in my life- so you know the girl must be bringin all types of drama in my life. i don't care. it was worth it.

my car broke down already. piece of shit. but i have a new one/ the guy next door is sellin it, and my mom is buying it for me. the catch- i have to buy my own school clothes. no big deal- i was goin to anyways.

i'm beat ya'll- i've been working non-stop all week. and i gotta be up and out tomorrow morning. sooo goodnite<333